Why you don't meet people on Craigslist: Reason #131

Christmas is cancelled.

Irony

Apparently the irony of a young man sitting at a table all by himself at the ward Christmas party held at the Church building was lost on everyone.

This Saved Me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDpYrR2-Ghk

"Whatever it was we shared these relationships are the foundation of many of the most precious and rewarding moments of my life."
- Joseph B. Wirthlin

Things I Love About Alaska

• My first Sunday here, not one, but TWO people bore their testimony about escaping from a bear
• It's already been - 10°
• Even though its gambling, I played Bingo with the Relief Society President
• More than one boy has already taken me out to dinner
• Lots of people here love Skipbo
• It was a rough start, but there have been at least 3 conversations (not just compliments, whole conversations!) about how cool my glasses are
• Most people in the ward refer to me as "the trendy Mark"
• I got a pair of Hugo Boss dress shoes that are bitchin'
• One girl refers to me as "Hot Mark"
• You have to plug in your car here at night, or it won't start in the morning
• I've heard three of the most homophobic things ever here -- it feels like I'm in Utah
• I've had the time to finish Weeds and The Chronicles of Narnia since I've been here
• I appreciate people back home a lot more
• Work is easy
• I think most people here genuinely think I'm a cool, lovable guy
• I don't have to work 70 hours a week
• My CraigsList roommate hasn't killed me yet
• I get paid for lunch
• I haven't cried since my first couple of days here
• I have stuff to do every night I choose to

Please pray for me.

The Guardian Angel by Stephen Dunn

Afloat between lives and stale truths,
he realizes
he's never truly protected one soul,

they all die anyway, and what good
is solace,
solace is cheap. The signs are clear:

the drooping wings, the shameless thinking
about utility
and self. It's time to stop.

The guardian angel lives for a month
with other angels,
sings the angelic songs, is reminded

that he doesn't have a human choice.
The angel of love
lies down with him, and loving

restores to him his pure heart.
Yet how hard it is
to descend into sadness once more.

When the poor are evicted, he stands
between them
and the bank, but the bank sees nothing

it its way. When the meek are ovepowered
he's there, the thin air
through which they fall. Without effect

he keeps getting in the way of insults.
He keeps wrapping
his wings around those in the cold.

Even his lamentations are unheard,
though now,
in for the long haul, trying to live

beyond despair, he believes, he needs
to believe
everthing he does takes root, hums

beneath the surfaces of the world.

I can't decide...

Now that I'm 25, should I run for public office or just rent a car?

Corners 3.0

Wish me luck...

I'm about to reopen the past. I haven't read most of the entries in my mission journal since I wrote them back in Baltimore. I fully expect to be blown away and changed forever. For so many reasons, I also think reading through them will be one of the hardest and most painful things I ever do.

Corners 2.0

Othello

"Is not to leave't undone but kept unknown." (III, iii, 197, 201-204)

I went to Othello tonight, it would have been great but for two things.

1. I went by myself, being alone at the theater sucks.

2. As the old man who was sitting next to me tried to walk past, I sat up on my upright seat to let him through. Just at the moment he was directly in front of me, I slipped off the seat, shot forward and effectively straddled him. I'm sure I made his night better, but I made mine so much awkwardly worse.

I never thought I'd be in love this

Feels like I'm in a race but I've already won first place.

I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did.

You got me thinking about our life, a house and kids.

Ever morning I look at you and smile,

'Cause boy, you came around and you knocked me down.

Say you gotta take the good, the bad, happy and the sad

But you bring a better future than I had in the past.

You can't handle the truth (10 Statements)

• The only material possession that would make me a happier person is a complete set of nice dishes
• I am absolutely finished playing the role of 'back up' or 'stand in'
• I think you are a coward
• I'd give anything to be Elder Johnson again
• The 'Gospel' has provided the majority of the motivation in my life to strive to be a better, loving person. The 'Church' provides none of it
• If you never are going to hold up a sign for me that says: "To me, you are perfect" you aren't worth it. And you never will be
• If I were to draw a Venn Diagram of "Qualities that Make a Good Person" and "Qualities that Make a Good Mormon," there would be very little overlap, if any
• 'The Church is wrong' is not a valid excuse to leave
• Without reservation or exclusivity I can confidently say that I care more about you than you do me
• My heart is still recovering from the damage you caused but I'm almost ready to love again without fear or reservation. No thanks to you

The best part of my day...

Today, an old Asian woman told me that I looked just like her favorite singer, Josh Groban. When she asked if I could sing as well as him, I humbly told her that I don't sing. She told me that my speaking voice was beautiful and she was sure I could sound just as good as him.

Lesson learned: old Asian women are more perceptive than both my family and friends.

1000

1 × 10³ (Engineering Notation)

1 E+3 (Scientific E notation)

2³ × 5³ (Factorization)

M (Roman numeral)

1111101000 (Binary)

1750 (Octal)

6B4 (Duodecimal)

3E8 (Hexadecimal)

However you want to say it: 1,000 people have visited this blog!

Be on the lookout for ...

The latest (and greatest) superhero

... Skateboarder extraordinaire ...

... with the power to make gay men want to be straight

(just ask Kurt, Mark or Holland) ...

... the faith of an apostle ...

... the bust of a Brazilian supermodel ...

... the Disney Scene-It skills of Walt himself ...

... capable of love without end ...

... so cryptic she's often indiscernible ...

.... Absolutely incredible and altogether amazing ...

Public Enemy Number 1

(Story to follow.)

Why does the wind blow in Idaho?

Because Utah sucks.

Another Excuse

Guess you aren't forgiven after all.

One of my secrets...

(Insert popular 90s teen pop star on the ticket)

Goodnight Moon

In the great green room

There was a telephone

And a red balloon

And a picture of--

A cow jumping over the moon

Someone, somewhere, someday: Please read this to me. It'll make my day.

Dear God

What a terrible, terrible joke. Thanks for nothing.

Corners

I'm going to Disney World!

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

April Fools

I may have gone a little too far with my other blog, but to everyone I freaked out, I hope you learned a valuable lesson... "and that's why you don't play April Fool's jokes."

Justin Timberlake is a 7.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being Derek Child, 1 being fat kids with mullets eating lollipops, Justin Timberlake is a 7.

Bring plenty of $1s

After much searching, I finally found it. The speedo that I'm going to strip for Gina in. The speedo that's going to send her off into marital bliss after completely fulfilling her single life.

See you at the bachelorette party.